My Apologies

A few nights ago, Travis announced that he had an idea for a blog post for me. My interest thoroughly piqued, I asked what it was. "Well," he replied, "do you remember when we used to say sorry to each other every night?" Of course I did. It started five or six years ago, when we lived in Texas and our bedrooms were adjoining. It must have been after a recent devotion on not letting the sun set on our anger, (Ephesians 4:26) so in our logical ten and eight year old minds we decided we would apologize to each other every night before we went to sleep. This was a blanket statement. An "I'm sorry for everything bad I did to you today" sort of thing. And then we would promptly forgive each other (racing sometimes to see who could say "I forgive you" faster) and then, our consciences appeased, fall into a contented sleep.

But Travis discovered there was a bit of problem with our elementary views on repentance and forgiveness. "When we just said, 'I'm sorry for everything,'" he told me, "that was wrong. We should have thought back to specific sins we did against the other person and asked forgiveness for those." And then, right there, he apologized for some specific sins he thought or committed against me that day.

I can learn a lot from my brother. When he applied that to our situation, he also said we need to apply it to our prayers. When we hear that we need to repent of our sins to God, we think that's easily possible, that we can give a blanket statement, just like Travis and I did before bed. We can say "I'm sorry for everything bad I did today, God," and then, without even really thinking about, fall into an appeased sleep.

But God doesn't want a blanket statement.

God wants true, godly repentance. That repentance consists of examining your day, thinking back to specific sins and asking the Holy Spirit to convict you of sins you can't remember. Then it results in grief over your sin. No flippancy here. God wants you to grieve, to mourn, to be truly upset and sad and angry over your sin. (2 Corinthians 7:10) He wants you to hate it, to destroy it. (Colossians 3:5) Then He wants you to ask for forgiveness for specific sins. I admit, I have trouble with this. It can be painful to look back and think again about the wrongs that you've done, the shame that you felt. But there is freedom in repentance, because true repentance results in forgiveness.
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9
So who knew little brothers could teach you so much?